If Islam is a religion of peace, why do Muslims hate Exmuslims so much?

If Islam is a religion of peace why Muslims Hate to Ex-Muslims

The relationship between Muslims and ex-Muslims are fraught with tension, often rooted in deeply held religious, cultural, and social beliefs. Almost all Muslims harbor deep seated hate toward those who leave Islam, many ex-Muslims report experiencing hostility, ranging from familial rejection to legal consequences and there were few cases of death. The experiences shared highlight feelings of entrapment, loss of personal freedom, and systemic pressures that exMuslims face, particularly women.

Personal Experiences of Ex-Muslims

Many ex-Muslims describe severe negative consequences when they express doubts about or leave Islam. These reactions come from family members and reinforced by societal and legal frameworks, leading to feelings of degradation, fear, and loss of relationships. Below are some common experiences:

Familial Coercion and Aggression

• Pressure Over Religious Practices: Ex-Muslims, particularly women, face extreme emotional and physical reactions when they resist practices like wearing the hijab. For instance, an 18-year-old recounted their mother’s yelling, crying, and physical aggression when they expressed a desire to stop wearing the hijab, leaving them feeling like they "didn’t have control over [their] own body."
• Harsh Parental Reactions: Some parents react with intense hostility to minor deviations, such as wearing a low-cut top. One individual described their parents as "sooooo f**king strict and crazy," facing verbal abuse, including being called a "whore," and threats like withholding food. This led to lying and gaslighting to avoid further aggression.
• Fear of Losing Family: Many ex-Muslims fear losing familial love and relationships if they abandon Islamic practices. The prospect of trading family acceptance for personal freedom, such as not wearing the hijab, is described as a "sad and absurd" reality.

Feelings of Imprisonment and Loss of Self

• Religious Dress as a Prison: The hijab is often described as a "prison" that ex-Muslims feel they "can’t take off" due to indoctrination and fear of judgment. Some feel "shameful" for wanting to dress differently, having been taught that modern women’s clothing is akin to being "naked."
• Restricted Freedoms: Ex-Muslims express a longing for simple freedoms, like feeling the wind in their hair or wearing casual clothes, which become unattainable "dreams" under strict religious expectations.
• Degradation and Control: The rigid rules and threats of punishment create a sense of being "an animal forced into a cage," leading to feelings of degradation and loss of personal autonomy.

Legal and Societal Restrictions

• Legal Barriers to Apostasy: In countries like Malaysia, laws prevent individuals born Muslim or who have converted from leaving Islam. This creates a "legal trap" where people cannot align their official documents with their personal beliefs, even if their "heart lies in another belief."
• Forced Conversions: Non-Muslims marrying Muslims may be required to convert to Islam, which some find "unacceptable" and ironic, given the Islamic principle that "we cannot force a religion onto someone."

Broader Context: Control and Obedience

The experiences of ex-Muslims, particularly women, are often tied to a broader structure of control within some interpretations of Islam. This structure emphasizes obedience, especially for women, and non-compliance can lead to severe consequences:

• Obedience as Worth: Women’s worth is sometimes tied to obedience, particularly in marriage. For example, a wife’s "path to heaven" is described as pleasing her husband rather than through her own faith or character.
• Consequences of Non-Compliance: Refusing sex or disobeying a husband can lead to withheld financial support, food, or shelter. Some interpretations permit "light beating" for disobedient wives, described as "legalized, God-approved" violence.
• Marital Rape and Control: The absence of the concept of marital rape in some Islamic frameworks is highlighted, with women expected to comply without question, leading to a loss of agency and emotional erasure.

This "contract of control" chips away at a woman’s sense of self, fostering fear and silence, which can extend to the broader experience of leaving Islam entirely.

Truth is, domestic violence is very prevalent and a real issue in Muslim communities all over the world. A husband is allowed to beat his wife and the way Islamic culture oppresses women are key factors driving domestic violence cases in Muslim communities. 

Why the Hate? 

The strong negative reactions from Muslims toward ex-Muslims stem from a mix of religious, cultural, and social factors, prevalent even in non-Muslim-majority countries:

1. Religious Beliefs and Apostasy: In traditional Islamic theology, apostasy is considered a grave sin,  equated with betrayal. Certain hadiths prescribe harsh punishments, including death, leading to moral outrage or fear among devout Muslims. Ex-Muslims are often accused of seeking sinful or promiscuous lifestyles, and their experiences of religious trauma are dismissed. Exmuslim's morality is highly questioned and the reasons of leaving is conveniently ignored by Muslims. 
2. Community and Identity: Islam is deeply tied to cultural and communal identity, especially in Muslim-majority societies. ExMuslims are seen as rejecting family and heritage, which can feel like a personal affront. Even the most liberal of Muslims react harshly, with some turning "into raging monsters" when discovering a relative or peer’s apostasy, disregarding familial bonds.
3. Social Norms and Honor: Leaving Islam bring shame to families, defying social expectations. In conservative communities, even in the West, this have been proven to lead to hostility or honor killings, with phrases like "the blood of an ex-Muslim is halal" reflecting extreme attitudes.
4. Fear of Influence: Ex-Muslims who publicly criticize Islam are perceived as a threat, potentially encouraging others to question their faith. This fuels defensiveness and anger among some Muslims.
5. Political and Cultural Contexts: In some regions, exMuslims are associated with secularism or Western influence, amplifying resentment. Apostasy laws in certain Muslim-majority countries reinforce state-enforced religious norms.

Conclusion

The hatred Muslims direct toward exMuslims is rooted in interplay of religious doctrines, cultural identity, and societal pressures. While a big majority of Muslims react this way, the experiences of exMuslims—marked by familial rejection, legal barriers, death threats, job loss and loss of personal freedoms highlight the challenges of leaving Islam. If only the world realise the truth that Exmuslims faced, they will underscore the need for greater understanding and dialogue about religious freedoms and individual autonomy, particularly in communities where faith and identity are deeply intertwined.

Note: This article draws from personal accounts and general observations. Individual experiences